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עמוד:*14
* 14 Communal Education on the Kibbutz as a Reflection of Narcissistic Parenting An attempt is made here to describe the system of communal education once practiced throughout the kibbutz movement as possessing the characteristics of a narcissistic parent . Kibbutz intentions were only good – creation of a "new person" who would be far less materialistic, "synthesized" in terms of his abilities, and endowed with an egalitarian view towards all human beings . The attitude of educators and kibbutz members towards the youngsters, however, was loaded with characteristics of narcissistic parenting in many and diverse forms . Children in the communal education system often experienced a sense of being invisible within the overall society and within their own children's age group, being assimilated into these entities, led, and managed based on educational concepts that prohibited or quashed manifestations of individuality and personal uniqueness . Pressure was always exerted in favour of social oneness, with individual conspicuousness or differences being eschewed . This gave rise to a deficiency in the basic rules of interpersonal relations – acknowledgment of uniqueness in others, respect for their boundaries, and reciprocal appreciation of individuality, wherever encountered . Kibbutz society in general, and its educators in particular, acted as stage directors, pulling the strings, and driven all the while by the dogma that one size fits all, to the extent of total disregard for the needs and proclivities of the children themselves . The children thus ultimately served the interests of kibbutz society ( the narcissistic parent ) instead of kibbutz society serving the needs of the children who were growing up and schooling there . Deprived Individualism in Children Raised in a Communal Education System A number of areas exist in which the individualism of children raised in a communal education system suffered severe deprivation . Their unique needs were never heard, let alone satisfied, and any attempt on their part at challenging the kibbutz hegemony was met with harsh sanctions by the educators and the kibbutz as a whole . Examples of these areas are : Nights in the children's houses . 1 All kibbutz children spent nights in the children's houses . Generally, three to four children ( boys and girls together ) slept in a room with no adult to oversee them . A night watchman, an adult member of the kibbutz doing duty in rotation with others, would patrol between the various children's houses and check that all the children were asleep . He would visit each house three times a night at most . In scenarios that were not at all rare, children would wake up in the middle of the night, trembling with fright, trying to awaken the others in the room, or escaping to their
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אדמוני, אריאל
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