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עמוד:*18
* 18 Communal education, the brainchild of the kibbutz movement – identical education for all, devoid of any unique intimacy – is an example of warped narcissistic behaviour ( Gonen, 2009 ) . Kibbutz educators were guided by a slew of good intentions ; they believed that the ideology of joint effort would produce moral human beings, willing to give of themselves for the benefit of all members of the young society taking shape in Israel . They were, however, so fired up with putting their ideology into practice that they totally ignored the individual needs of the children and their parents, including a need for intimacy within the nuclear family . The result was a large number of children suffering from mental problems . It was clearly a case of overinvestment on the part of the educators alongside blind adherence to ideology . With its deficient nurturing and lack of attention to individual needs, the phenomenon rings of a mechanism that was typically narcissistic . In the course of their therapeutic sessions, people who had left the kibbutz as adults speak of an experience that amounted to serious betrayal and abandonment on the part of the kibbutz . In contrast, they themselves feel like traitors and are viewed as such by an appreciable number of present - day kibbutz members . They refer to the dread of visiting their parents who have remained on the kibbutz because of the censorious atmosphere that greets them there . Summation An attempt is made here to highlight the existence of mental disorders resulting from narcissistic relationships as reflected in the system of communal education that was practiced in kibbutzim until the 1980 s . The disorders are manifested typically in symbiotic attachment in which the narcissistic personality manipulates the private space of those close to him as though it were his own . The victims feel invisible and trapped in the relationship . They experience mental abuse, with no means of defending themselves owing to the lack of legitimacy for effecting a separation of lives . These phenomena are referred to herein as narcissistic disorders, being caused by over - or under - investment by the narcissist in others, or by strictness, albeit well - intentioned, that is severely lacking in empathy with and sensitivity to others' needs . The narcissist has an inherent difficulty in accepting otherness and is unwilling to acknowledge this as the source of suffering in interpersonal relations . The implications of this psychological disorder are clearly evident even in his social world view, causing outright rejection of others . My personal and clinical experience has taught me that investigating the phenomenon with the help of individual, spousal and familial therapy through the "narcissistic disorder" lens can enable the problems aired in the therapy room to be pinpointed and diagnosed, greatly helping the therapy administered to victims of the disorder .
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אדמוני, אריאל
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