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עמוד:*16
* 16 also altered in the same vein . Among the kibbutz founders were several who had come from religious homes, and religious tradition was dear to them . One cannot say today what they felt about kibbutz policy on religion since most of them are no longer alive . Clearly, however, the pressure to conform was so great that they might not have dared to express their real feelings even to themselves . Suppression of personal talents and aptitudes . 3 With respect to this particular area, the attitude was mixed, or more accurately, ambivalent . Certain gifts that were detected in a child, such as an ear for music, were strenuously encouraged . Others that were deemed decadent or bourgeois were summarily quashed . Every age group was given the opportunity to learn one musical instrument – the flute or mandolin – and children who were found to be musically inclined were sent for lessons in an instrument suited to their talents, as determined by the music teacher . Sports of all types were supported to the fullest extent . In contrast, girls who wished to learn ballet were rejected outright ; the dance form was not felt to be in keeping with the pioneering socialist spirit of the kibbutz and had no place in the life of the "new person" the kibbutz was aspiring to create . Possible Therapeutic Approach to Victims of Narcissistic Relations My present work as psychotherapist has afforded me several opportunities to meet victims of communal education on the kibbutz . They are only too happy to retell stories about the difficulties they faced in childhood, when individual needs were ignored and all efforts were directed towards the common good . Such patients need a number of remedial experiences in terms of relationships – ones that would see them for their uniqueness and their efforts to gain recognition, while conveying an understanding of their reality . They do not seek gratification alone, but rather contact, acknowledgment, self - worth and meaning . In my opinion the approach to such patients is through Kohut's theories on relational psychology and self - psychology . Freud's traditional approach to psychoanalysis stated that it must address the fantasies of patients rather than the concrete facts that make up their lives . Traditional therapy then is based on the processing and interpretation of transference and counter - transference . Interpretation, reflection and other interventions, widely accepted in dynamic therapy, could cause re - enactment of the patient's life situations, reviving the trauma of the chaotic relationship with the narcissist . In circumstances of anxiety - related and uncertain contact Bowlby, 1988 ) , the therapist dealing with the narcissistic personality disorder cannot merely ( remain an onlooker or observer . He must be an active partner with respect to the "invisible" zones and the misadventures that occurred in the victims' lives . Work with the victims of narcissistic relationships requires the therapist to refer to a number of key issues, including reframing of perceptions and templates that were consolidated
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אדמוני, אריאל
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